"Yeah, when I was I think, 17, I was doing an exam in school. I think it was geography, and I hadn’t studied at all for it. And I didn’t know the answer to the first question and I just sort of shut my eyes. I was considering whether I should just leave the room or not and I shut my eyes and there’s this like fully realized, three dimensional like hologram of Buddha in my head and I sort of looked at it and it was so real you could almost touch it. And it threw these little spinning jack things into my eyes and I opened my eyes and I knew every single answer to this exam paper. Every time I shut my eyes afterwards though, this Buddha was still there for like three months. And I could ask it questions about things and it would always give me the answer. The same deal with the jacks, the tacks, whatever they’re called. After about three months I told someone about it and then I realized I could ask it to do things, and affect fate, and it would actually change what happened in the world and it started to really freak me out. And then I asked it to do a number of things which have significantly altered my life in a lot of ways. And then I met this girl, who I got really obsessed with and the Buddha left and she stayed in my head and for about five years I resented her every single day for it and then I asked her about it last year and she didn’t know what I was talking about. I’m Robert Pattinson, and that is my best story, ever."
Robert Pattinson (Best Story Ever, 2008)
"I remember when I was a teenager thinking my girlfriend was cheating on me, and going around riling myself up. Pretending to cry. It was totally illegitimate—I actually didn’t feel anything. I went to some pub and then went crying all the way home. And I got into my dog’s bed. I was crying and holding on to the dog. I woke up in the morning, and the dog was looking at me like, ‘You’re a fake.’"
— Robert Pattinson (GQ, April 2009)
"Because I finished school and I’m not really doing anything at the moment, I was just kind of aimlessly wandering around London and these two guys who were about 30 came up and asked for my autograph. I was really quite proud at the time, and they wanted to take photos and stuff. And then they were sort of wandering around and I was kind of wandering around and I bumped into them about three times, and every single time their respect for me kept growing and growing and growing."
— Robert Pattinson
"I kind of wish people didn’t know who I am, that I could just lie, say I’m a speechwriter for Obama. This is what I said before Twilight. And then Obama came along and picked up all these young writers. I found out this guy, Jon Favreau — who’s not the actor Jon Favreau — is writing for him. And I was like, Wow, I wonder if the people who thought I was bullshitting at the time are like, ‘Oh my god. That guy! That kid who was drunk in some bar actually wrote the health care bill!’"
— Robert Pattinson (Harper’s Bazaar, Nov. 2009)
"‘Twilight’ is a metaphor for the virtues of chastity, but it’s had the opposite effect. I get letters that say ‘I’m going to kill myself if you don’t watch ‘High School Musical 2’ with me.’"
— Robert Pattinson (Rolling Stone, Nov. 2008)
"I had a stalker while filming a movie in Spain last year. She stood outside of my apartment every day for weeks - all day every day. I was so bored and lonely that I went out and had dinner with her. I just complained about everything in my life and she never came back. People get bored of me in, like, two minutes."
— Robert Pattinson
"Life is not black and white … [but] there is one thing I never understood: why people cheat."
— Robert Pattinson
"I just sit there and lick the pages."
— Robert Pattinson when asked about Fifty Shades of Gray 7/12/12